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Aug. 24th, 2009 @ 01:56 pm it was Friday again.
looked forward to it. it's the last day of the week when i have to get up early. and as usual, i had classes. it was the last commitment for the day. it was the last one for the week too.

he was sick the Friday before so we didn't have classes. we started our class with the routine i am trying to make him learn.

-¿Cómo estás?, i asked.
-Bien, he answered.
-Did you go to school today?, i asked again.
-Yes, i did, he said.
-So what's your favorite subject now?, me, not letting up.

he answered with the candor only a 6-year old boy can muster:

-BINGO!
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Jul. 17th, 2009 @ 11:31 am maybe i regret it.
having had left, i mean. i shouldn't have left in the first place. maybe. i was meant to be teaching. maybe. and for the past 5 years, i dream of me in front of white and yellow-checked uniforms. most of the time, the faces shouldn't even go together. some familiar. some not. every single school year. every beginning. every end. i never missed.

and so i am letting myself look back with regret. just this once. just this time.
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Jul. 16th, 2009 @ 09:05 am 4 years.
that's how long we've been working together. she missed a month's worth of Spanish classes and when she got back, she was picked by her teacher to represent her class for the Spanish Quiz Bee. her mom then decided that she needs a tutor.

i first saw her at the very back of her car, her glasses dropping to the tip of her nose and her hair all over her face, trying to be inconspicuous. she was very quiet that first meeting. it made me wonder about my orientation by her mom who said that she's very different from her sister who was also my student when i was still teaching full-time. on our third session, i stopped wondering altogether. she suddenly had the upper hand of our classes, always, always starting every session with her "let's make kwento first".

through the years, our topics have changed. she is metamorphosing. but every now and then, i would still get glimpses of the little girl - as the little director who made me act like i was fainting, dropping on the sofa because we were shooting a film and she was directing using their telescope, as the little event organizer who prepared a cheeseballs party for me complete with tap water on wine glasses and a map of the venue - an arrow connecting Ms. Castillejo's house to their house made by her little sister, and yes, as the little girl who loves chocolates so i would then devise a game and of course she would win and we would share her chocolate prize. Van Houtens are never good unless eaten with her.

last night, while she was doing her homework and i was supervising her, she suddenly asked in that way when she would make you feel that it's the most important topic in the world, "what should i take in college?" i was surprised yet again. she never fails to surprise me with her questions and antics. i laughed. and she said, "seriously, i need your advice". i managed to interject, "well,..." and she continued as if i had never spoken, "please, not law, not medicine, not business". "it depends on what you want. what do you want to do?" to which she earnestly answered, "i want to be rich!"
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Feb. 2nd, 2009 @ 02:46 pm Lord-
please grant me lots and lots of patience. Amen.
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Jan. 12th, 2009 @ 09:08 am here-
we fucking go again. i will never understand why an information that is crucial everytime a query is made is never stored and saved. faulty memory. maybe you need an updgrade. i can't be the Office Assistant 24/7. forever. it's been a year and a half since you joined us. have you learned anything yet?
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Dec. 11th, 2008 @ 11:58 am i -
just suddenly feel restless.

maybe because i know that for the next 5 years or so, i am not going anywhere. and i won't be able to afford to go anywhere.

and that makes me sad. restless.

or maybe, i just want to go somewhere so i can check the possibilities out.

5 years. 2 years. long years. 
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May. 27th, 2008 @ 10:27 am in the land of the giants -
there are normal-sized blenders, you said.

and i can still see you against the wall, mimicking a giant with his big blender, grunting and saying "mind yo biznus". and i can still hear myself insensitively laughing.

you're the first man i know who can make me laugh like that. the first one.
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May. 26th, 2008 @ 10:31 am lunes na naman.
isang linggong pag-ibig na naman ito ng papasok ba ako o hindi!
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Apr. 8th, 2008 @ 02:40 pm i remember that smell.
it's from a long, long time ago. popcorn.
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Mar. 25th, 2008 @ 08:15 pm before the end of every 9pm workshift -
i actually look forward to you coming to my post to chat me up. with everything and nothing really. just plain, interesting topics that you have thought of on your way to my workstationn or maybe when you just let your mind wander while doing nothing. and gestures that you might be imitating or you yourself came up with. and they all make me laugh. you make me laugh.

we talk of everything. we ask questions. we try to come up with answers, with explanations. we clarify.

we share an orange. we share our stories. and our experiences. a little of ourselves even. maybe that. maybe not.

all of these devoid of romance.

and i used to believe that anyone who can do these things that you do now should be, can be the man in my life. maybe forever.

not you. not this time.
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